19 Comments
User's avatar
Toni Sakoman's avatar

"What we exile into the darkness does not vanish; it waits to be acknowledged." - powerful sentence.

I just wrote recently how 'development sleeps in the darkness', it's a place of origin, development that masks itself later in life as hardship. But when closely observed, it is an opportunity for an authentic, more lived life. I can align my thinking with yours on the matter of the shadow and darkness. It is an unprivileged necessity. I liked your article very much.

Expand full comment
Emanuela B's avatar

Thank you for you comment Toni, I will be happy to read your post, feel free to drop the link here in the comments, so the community of Inclusion Room can have access 😊

Let's keep in touch!

Expand full comment
Toni Sakoman's avatar

Thank you Emanuela, that is very kind of you ❤️

"Development Sleeps in Darkness" is a literary short essay; a meditation on hardship translated to a language of the deep ocean. 😊

https://open.substack.com/pub/antonijasakoman/p/development-sleeps-in-darkness?r=4irgi6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

Expand full comment
Lile Mo's avatar

I lost my language after emigrating and the worst part is failure to teach my kids my mother tongue. At first it was because i was learning a new language BUT i think it was more preservation

Expand full comment
Emanuela B's avatar

I know many people from the second generation of immigrants who don’t speak their family’s language, because their parents thought it would help them integrate. It was surely a good intention, but unfortunately it also meant distancing themselves from their roots.

Expand full comment
Lile Mo's avatar

For me really because it was a move necessitated by marriage so i moved to my Husband's country and i was the only person speaking that language so i had to learn the language and my daughter who had emigrated as a one year old slowly lost her language too. i feel sad about that

Expand full comment
Emanuela B's avatar

That’s sad, I see you. I hope that in the future, you can find a community of people who share your roots, keep your traditions alive, and let you hear your language as often as possible. It’s never too late to reclaim your past and make place in your present for it.

Expand full comment
Dead Girl Walking's avatar

Fantastic piece - so thoughtful and thought provoking - I too wrote a little something about our Shadows and Carl Jung ….https://open.substack.com/pub/deadflowers84/p/dead-girl-walking-13?r=25qysl&utm_medium=ios

Expand full comment
Emanuela B's avatar

I've read your piece, thank you for sharing, I love your style!

Expand full comment
Dead Girl Walking's avatar

Thank you so much ☺️ 🙏🏻

Expand full comment
Maria C's avatar

Every word you wrote brings back memories. And it's sometimes so hard to put what an expat feels into words but you do it so beautifully. If I was to go back to the beginning of my expat life, I wold've protected my shadow better. Because, some experiences can closely relate to trauma, and we tend to separate from our true self, keep it in the shadow so we can be accepted, so we can blend in. But we never fully do regardless and we do not help the inclusion by doing so.

Expand full comment
Emanuela B's avatar

Thank you for sharing your experience, Maria, it’s so valuable to remember that this can be a common journey. Hopefully, with time, we’ll sit down for tea with our shadows and find they’ve become our closest friends.

Expand full comment
Gillian Fletcher's avatar

This reminds me of the uncomfortable truth that in order to relish the sweet, we must know sour. If all is only light, there’s no depth and everything appears the same. Shadow adds dimension and the two exist in an ever-balancing ebb and flow. In order to ascend higher, there’s got to be a low point from which to start. Accepting this duality ends a struggle against the natural order and ultimately leads to a greater sense of peace.

Expand full comment
Emanuela B's avatar

I love the image of dimension, shadow and light needing each other to reveal our full form!

Expand full comment
Gillian Fletcher's avatar

For practice try playing with the contrast on a photo. Too much light and it looks flat; too much dark and you can’t make it out!

Expand full comment
Natacha Pierre, MD's avatar

This is very well written. More needs to be written about our shadow side. In a curated world, embracing this side actually liberates us. What is hidden gets expressed in sometimes maladaptive ways.

Expand full comment
Emanuela B's avatar

Exactly! by embracing our shadow, we can channel it, deepen our self-knowledge, anticipate our reactions, and cultivate safer relationships.

Expand full comment
Esther Harder's avatar

Ooh, this is a very interesting topic! I find that when I have spent a significant time away from home, I use my chameleon powers to fit into my new place, and then when faced with a return home, I am uncertain if I remember how to be the chameleon that blends in there. I think finding ways to merge with the society you are in can be beneficial, but lately I have been wondering the same question you are proposing: what would it feel like to be in the world as a fully integrated self first, rather than rushing to be the chameleon?

Expand full comment
Emanuela B's avatar

The chameleon is a great metaphor, stay too long in that mode, and you risk forgetting your own colors!

Expand full comment